Introduction to Compersion: A New Path to Joy in ENM Relationships

One of the most beautiful and often misunderstood emotions that arises in ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is compersion. In simplest terms, compersion is the joy and happiness one feels when their partner experiences fulfilment with someone else. It's the opposite of jealousy, a concept many of us are more familiar with in the context of romantic relationships. But what happens when we shift away from possessiveness and lean into empathy and celebration? That’s where compersion comes in.

In ENM relationships, where emotional and sometimes physical intimacy extends beyond just one person, compersion becomes an essential building block for creating deeper, healthier connections. It transforms how we see love—from something exclusive and finite to something abundant and expansive. The more we embrace this concept, the more we can find joy not just in our own happiness but in the happiness of those we love.

However, for many people, especially those who have spent most of their lives in monogamous relationships, compersion can feel elusive or even impossible. The traditional script we've been taught often ties love to ownership and exclusivity. When faced with the idea that a partner might find joy or love with someone else, it's natural to feel a mix of insecurity and fear.

But compersion offers a different, more open pathway. It challenges us to see love not as a limited resource but as something that grows the more we share it. Compersion doesn't come easily for everyone, and it certainly isn't something that can be forced. It’s a skill that can be cultivated and nurtured over time, often through open communication, reflection, and self-awareness.

In the next post in this series, we'll lay the foundation for what compersion is and how it plays a pivotal role in ENM relationships. Over the rest of the series, we'll explore real-life experiences, offer practical tips, and dive deeper into how you can embrace this transformative emotion in your own life.

This is Part 1 of our Compersion blog series - read Part 2 here...