Nurturing Compersion: Practical Steps to Embrace Joy in Your ENM Relationship

This is the final part of our Compersion blog series - read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3...

Compersion is a beautiful, transformative emotion, but it often takes time and effort to fully embrace it. If you’re new to ethical non-monogamy or if compersion doesn’t come naturally to you, know that it’s okay to take small steps and move at your own pace. Like trust and communication, compersion is a skill that can be nurtured over time. Here are some practical strategies that can help you cultivate compersion in your relationship:

1. Embrace Vulnerability: One of the biggest hurdles in embracing compersion is vulnerability. It’s okay to feel insecure or even jealous at times—these feelings don’t make you a bad partner or less capable of love. In fact, acknowledging your insecurities can be the first step toward growth. Open, honest conversations with your partner about your fears and desires can help you feel more connected. Vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s the foundation of trust and intimacy.

   
   

2. Reframe Jealousy: Jealousy is often rooted in fear—the fear of losing something valuable. But in ENM relationships, that fear can be reframed. Instead of seeing your partner’s love for someone else as a threat, try to view it as an opportunity for growth and expansion. Your partner’s happiness with someone else doesn’t diminish their love for you. In fact, it can strengthen your connection by fostering greater empathy and understanding.

   
   

3. Celebrate Your Partner’s Happiness: Compersion is about celebrating your partner’s joy, growth, and connections. When your partner finds happiness with someone else, try to see their experiences as enriching, not threatening. Ask them questions about their new relationship, and approach their joy with curiosity and excitement. When you see their happiness as something that enhances your life rather than detracts from it, compersion can become a natural, joyful response.

   
   

4. Foster Your Own Growth: While your partner is building connections with others, take the opportunity to cultivate your own interests and relationships. ENM relationships are built on the idea that love is abundant, and that extends to your own personal growth as well. Explore new connections, deepen your friendships, or pursue a hobby that excites you. When both partners are growing individually, it can strengthen the relationship as a whole.

   
   

Ultimately, compersion reminds us that love isn’t a limited resource. The more we share it, the more it grows. By nurturing compersion in your relationship, you open the door to deeper intimacy, greater trust, and a more fulfilling emotional connection with your partner. It may take time, and it may not always come easily, but the rewards of compersion are worth the effort.